Twilight Chat Rooms!
by EGGplantISHevyROXurSOX
Summary: The Twilight characters discover the miracles of chat rooms, and begin using them. What do they talk about? What could happen? RxR
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, freaks (I LUV YOU ALL... if you review, anyway....). Okay, i was bored and this random idea popped into my head, so, review... and... I HAVE MORE STORIES!!!!**

**Tim: Hey Ed _cough_ Daddy _Cough ward  
Edward: .... Hey Obsessed troubled kid.  
Me: Tim! What did I tell you about takling to sparkley idiots?!  
Tim: ... Don't talk to Edward.... Unless you're a Gayward.... Talk To Alice, because she shops....  
Me: That's my~  
Edward: WHAT?!  
Alice: WANNA GO SHOP?!  
Me: DUH! LEMME GO GET ALICE, HANG ON! *grabs b.l.u.f.f..e. alice and goes shopping*_**

**_I don't own Twilight. 3=_**

**_

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Bella—Eddie's gal  
Edward—Bella's Vampire  
Rosalie—Hot-sylvania  
Emmett—Teddyness... of DOOM  
Alice—PixelPixie  
Jasper—JazzPants  
Esme—Nurse Neat  
Carlisle—Surgeon Fish  
Renesmee—LochNee  
Jacob—WereKiddle_**

**_Me: OMJBAJC_**

* * *

** Bella's Vampire: Hello.**

**PixelPixie: HEY HI YO FO SHIZILLE!**

**LochNee:** What the heck, Aunty Alice. What was that?

**PixelPixie:** Soryry, I got sort of... Hyped up, I gu~ ... Jasper....?

**JazzPants:** Sorry, Alice. I wanted o see what I could make you type. =D

**Bella's Vampire:** LochNee? JazzPants? What type of names are those?

**Eddie's Gal:** Cool ones. Coo ones. Coo uns.

**LochNee:** Don't try to act cool mom.... It's not you

**WereKiddle:** *snickers* haha, btw, Ness, LochNee sounds like Locked Knee.................... Don't hurt me. Like MY name?

**LochNee:** You used the name?!

**WereKiddle:** *frowns* yeah. Stoopid girl charm.......

**LochNee:** What was that?

**WereKiddle:** NOTHING

**Bella's Vampire:** We Can see your old messages, Jacob.

_WereKiddle has deleted a message **(A/N: pretend it got deleted, kay?)**_

**Teddy of DOOM:** HEY YA'LL! ... I'm hiding.

**JazzPants:** From what? ... teddy... of... doom?

**Teddy of DOOM:** ... teddy of DOOM, not doom. DOOM. Bella convinced me to use it.

**Eddie's Gal:** *smirk*

**Teddy of DOOM:** ANYway, I'm hiding from Rose. she's gonna attack me. I broke the mirror and tried to hide it by drawing a circle on the wall with her lipstick. Then drew a little face in it with her make up. Why is she so mad???????

**Everyone:** *snickers*

**Heard from Japan: GET. OVER. HERE. EMMETT. NOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**teddy of DOOM:** OMGNESS BYE!!!!

teddy of DOOM has changed status to: OMGNESS SAV

teddy of DOOM has been disconnected.

**NO! NOT THE TELEVISION!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *silent sobs***

**wereKiddle:** ... heheh

**LochNee:** Poor Emmy *grins*

**Eddie's Ga****l:** ... OMGNESS? what the crap.

**Bella's Vampire:** What the frizz....

**OMJBAJC:** OMJBAJC HI PEOPLE! *jumps up and down* *looks at edward* gayward. *nods*

**Eddie's Gal:** ... GAYward? did you just... call my husband gay?

**OMJBAJC:** ... yes. I did.

**WereKiddle:** What the hck does omjbajc mean?

**OMJBAJC:** Oh My Jacob Black and Jasper Cullen. Why?

**WerKiddle:** OH MY GOD BELLA!I HAVE A FAN!

**JazzPants:** SAME H~ *looks at Alice* nevermind

**OMJBAJC:** ...soooooooo.... wanna hang out, Jake?

**WereKiddle:** Sure!

**OMJBAJC:** wanna go out?

**WereKiddle:**Sure!

**OMJBAJC:** Wanna make out?

**WereKiddle:** Sure!

**OMJBAJC:** OMGNESSNESS!!!! I JUST GOT PERMISSION TO PASSIONATLEY KISS TAYLOR LAUTNER!

**WereKiddle:** ... What? Who? WHAT THE HECK DID I JUST AGREE TO?!

**OMJBAJC:** ... oh, so Jacob Black DOES exist. I thought you were all just the actors. =D

**Eddie's Gal:** ... Act...ors???

**OMJBAJC:** Heck yeah, Kristen Stewart, Jackson Rathbone, *frowns* Robert. Pattinson. *glares at Edward* OMJBAJC AND TAYLOR LAUTNER =D and Ashley Greene. Kellan Lutz. ya know, same ol' same ol'.

_Eddie's gal, Bella's Vampire, PixelPixie, JazzPants, and WereKiddle have logged out._

**OMJBAJC:** =[ I feel so hated.

**LochNee:** Imagine how I felt when Mom was pregnant with me. Not fun.... Gosh, they fed me BLOOD, for Jacob's sake! What kind of idiot would come up with that idea?

**OMJBAJC:** ... Jacob....

**LochNee:** How do you know?

**OMJBAJC:** I read the freaking book. Idiot. JACOB LOVES YOU! GRRR

_OMJBAJC has canceled this chat._

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**OKAY**

**that sucked. Badly. Oh wellz. =\ Can you review ferr me? click that button... right... yeah... right there.... yay! thanks! BTW, I really do say OMJBAJC in real life... It's not hard to say once you get used to it. Ask olive8844 =D LOL, okay, so, i lurvz you allz.... if you review... i sound patheic.... okay, i'll shut up now...**

**P.S. I'm sorry if i offended you by saying robert pattinson and edward are gay. I like edward, but rob pat ruined it. And I'm Jake's team. I'll probably just go with names ferr the next chap, cuz USERNAMES... well, they are aggravtin'. Please send me a message if you like!**

**Name definitions:**

**WereKiddle: Were Kid, kiddle. You know. I was just bored. XD**

**LochNee: Duh, her name is Nessie**

**OMJBAJC: I SAY IT ALL THE TIME!**

**teddy of DOOM: he's doom-y =D**

**Hot-sylvania: she thinks she's al that and crap, so yeah.**

**Nurse Neat: Esme is the happy wife of a doc, and she cleans alot, so... yeah....**

**Surgeon Fish: He's a surgeon, isn't he?**

**JazzPants: ... he's JAZZY**

**PixelPixie: I couldn't think of anything, and this one sounded semi-hyper**

**...btw, ferr the disclaimer, i DO have a friend named alice. she rockles  
XD**

**... Long P.S. .... REVIEW **


	2. Alice All Alone

**Hi! I know, I didn't update this. Don't shun me. Please. But, ANNNNNNY who, I'm not gonna use screen names. They weren't working for me. xD. But uh, yeah. Just read on. :)**

**Tim: So come on get higher, losing my lips, faith, and desire in the swing of-  
Me: PIE!  
Tim: ... Why am I your imaginary friend-  
Me: BUDDY  
Tim: .... _buddy_, again?  
Me: I am lonely, and sick with a fever. So you are my friend now. :P**

**I do not own Twilight. Or the song "**Come on Get Higher**" By Matt Nathanson.**** I DO own Tim however..... I shall make him fly into the wall, now. Good-bye.**

* * *

**1:23 AM**

_Bella has signed in_

_Alice has signed in_

_Alice: _Hi, Bella!

_Bella has signed out_

_Alice_: Awww, first Edward, then Emmett, Carlisle, and Nessie, and now my shopping buddy?

**1:25 AM**

_Jasper has signed in_

_Jasper: _Hello, Alice.

_Alice: _Jasper! What do I do?

_Jasper: .... ?_

_Alice: _Everyone hates me!

_Jasper: _But, I feel... Fright coming from them... not hatred. Oh. Oh, no. No!

_Alice: _Don't worry I'm not in a shopping mood today.

_Jasper: _Yes you are. I _feel_ it.

_Jasper has signed out_

_Alice: _Oh, Butter biscuits!

**2:09 AM**

_Alice: _Just a few more seconds.........

_Esme has signed in_

_Esme: _Hello, dear. I thought you were out hunting with the others?

_Alice:_ I'm not hungry. And no one wants to go shopping with me! OOOH!!!!! Esme, will you do something for me?

_Esme has signed out_

_Alice: _Aw, shoot. -_-

_Alice has changed her status to:_ **WHO WANTS TO SHOP WITH ME?!**

_Edward has signed out_

_Emmett has signed out_

_Carlisle has signed out_

_Mike Newton has signed in_

_Mike Newton: _I hear you need a shopping buddy?

_Alice has signed out_

_Mike Newton has changed their name to Nessie_

_Nessie:_ I knew it would work.....

_Jake: _YAAAAY!

_Edward: _That's my daughter_._

_Jake: _That's my GIRLFRIEND! what now, LEECH

_Edward: _Just because I suck blood, does not mean I am a leech, mutt.

_Edward is whispering a message to Emmett_

_Edward's Whisper: _What a whiny mutt.

_Emmett: OMC! IKR!!! =O_

_Edward: _.... Yes, er, sure. Right. *shakes head*

_Jacob_: WHAT ARE YOU GUYS KEEPING FROM ME?

_Alice: _Oh em SEE! You guys are SO-O-O-O mean!!!!

_Bella_: Oh em see...?

_Jacob: _Fine. I'll be ignored. I'll eavesdrop. =]

_Alice: _OMC. DUUUUH. *rolls eyes* Oh my Carlisle.

_Carlisle:_ My fan club admires me. How wonderful...

_Carlisle has signed out_

_Alice: _He'll be back. I know he will.

Nessie: Um, yeah. Not stalker-ish at all......

_Nessie has signed out_

_Edward has signed out_

_Bella has signed out_

_Emmett has changd his status to: _**The Octopuss screems at midnight, with an explowsif teddy bare in his tentucle.**

_Emmett has signed out_

_Jacob has signed out_

_Alice:_ Am I the only one who noticed Emmett's misspellings...? =O They all logged out. Omigosh. So cruel.... FINE. GOOD-BYE!

_Alice has changed her status to: _**=\ You ppl left me alone in the emptiness of a chat room.**

_Alice has signed out_

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**Didja like? You'd think with all those years of being at high school would teach him how t spell....**

**:) I wanna know if you guys would like me to write a story about Poseidon, and how he felt when Percy went to Mount Olympus, or Dionysus when Percy back talked him. (Percy Jackson and the Olympians **Book Three: The Titan's Curse****

**BY THE WAY, when everyone signed out, that means they were all on invisible. I love invisobill.... XD**

**Please review**

**Peace, love, and all that is the color of EggPlants,**

**EGGplantishEVYroxURsox**


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